and there's no stopping it. i think about it day and night. of course, i think about necessary things too. like starving kids and God and my salvation. but taking up a lot of my time, is wondering... it's really hard to look at your life and really have no idea where it's going. this is the most solid "relationship" i've ever been in and to be honest, i have NO CLUE what's going on!
i have no intention of ending it. he doesn't either. i have every intention of being with him, no matter where it is, how long it takes or ... well those are the only two things i can think of to be defiant toward in this situation. so basically, my future is like this big white room with tons and tons of words on papers just lying in the floor. there's no tape... there are no nails or tacks. it's just papers, with words on them. and all i know is, someday someone is going to break through that door and hand me a huge roll of tape and i can start putting my story on the wall. i can say "dating" or "blissfully ever after" or "we're pregnant"
until then... i hope the wind doesn't blow away all the good words...
