i forgot who i was around him

so when he came back into my life as a for real companion, i panicked.
every time an old friend re-enters my life i can easily fall back into that personality. the one i had while i was with them. you know, cynical. or bubbly, or you know, just a plain bitch. sometimes i was overly dramatic. so obviously, i feel like a different person with every single one of my friends.

so while i was panicking, i thought, ok well we'll just see if i fall back into whoever it was.

and you know what i found. me. i was exactly myself. no gimmicks. no games. no overly cynical witicisms. not nauseatingly bubbly. just a girl. hanging out with her friends. with no inhibitions.

i realized how much i liked myself when i was with him. how uncomplicated of a girl i could be. i have never been more comfortable around anyone. then i thought, oh crap, i'm going to throw girlfriends into the mix and things will get completely weird. and they didn't. at all. he saw me again. still! the same natalie i always was.

so this is me. thanking God for such a good friend. because this is one of the first times i've truly enjoyed being who i am in a long, long time.