tower over me

so everything seems so up in the air right now. getting sick and paying doctors' bills (yes, multiple bills from multiple doctors) and losing work hours... not good for the college kid.

i am better though. i took my last band-aid off yesterday... hopefully. i'm going to have hailey check it out in the morning, see how it's doing. so fingers crossed, i don't get a cyst again. however, it could happen. that doesn't leave me happy. like i said, fingers crossed!

in other news, i created a twitter. i feel more connected with ellen and dane cook. which, of course, is my lot in life. mission accomplished.

the office almost gave me a heart attack tonight. watch it if you dare.

boys still suck.

i really want to start eating a little healthier and MAYBE actually excercising once in a while. we'll see.

nicole's lingerie shower is saturday. we have the best game planned. i'm excited.

probably the most shocking news of all, it's now been over two months since i've had any communication whatsoever with adam. i feel so abandoned by him. for the entire week i had staph and didn't know one minute from the next if i was going to be hospitalized i kept thinking about it. not that i wished we were together, just that i could call him. every night around 1am i started freaking out thinking (worst case scenario, of course) that i could be VERY sick, possibly deathly, when i woke up. and my one companion that i knew i could tell anything to, was no longer a part of my life. i've honestly never felt that before. it made me so angry with him and with myself. i only wish i hadn't invested so much of myself in it. i know it's my fault. but something awful happened to me, and it could have been even worse, and he would have never known...

goodnight, i'm sad.